The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination. Until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.Iyanla Vanzant
We’ve been on Lockdown for 3786 days now. (Possibly an exaggeration) If you believe social media then the population has turned into master bakers, gym bunnies and Tik Tok stars.
I on the other hand will be coming out the other side pretty much the same as I went in.
I’ll probably blame the fact that I’ve four kids and a pregnant girlfriend. Between them there isn’t much time for learning new skills or improving existing ones.
Truth be told. The kids wouldn’t eat fancy homemade breads. Besides a slight rounding of the tummy and getting out of breath climbing the stairs for the five hundredth time, I’m quite content with the physical state I’m in.
As for Tik Tok. Daddy Poppins tells me I’m too old for it. I tried but frankly got bored after 3 days and deleted it.
So what have I achieved during this enforced time at home with the kids and girlfriend?
Have I spent my spare hours gazing into the deep recesses of my soul and fighting demons?
Have I my hole. I’ve farted about on Twitter and messed about with Lightroom, (you can see some of this on my Instagram)
I like to think I know myself pretty well. The problem you see isn’t not knowing why I think and act the way I do. It’s why I cannot think and act another way.
I’ll give you an example.
As a kid I loved sports. All sports. When by mutual consent I left the private school in Oxford and my parents were looking at prospective boarding schools. They would return from school visits and my only questions related to sports facilities.
When playing sports I’d give 110 % and hated losing. But, be it a team or individual sport I never had that extra bit of determination and drive to become anything other than an ok competitior.
Like most people interested in Sports that grew up in the 90’s I’ve been glued to The Last Dance on Netflix. I’ve also read many articles generated around the documentary. Lots of them have caused me to consider how we view sports stars / celebrities. I’ll save those thoughts for another day!
What struck me the most during the documentary was how single minded Jordan was about winning. How he could take the smallest perceived slight and turn it into the motivation to destroy his opponents on the court.
I would say I’m too nice for that. But is that true? Like many adopted children I’m a people pleaser. Often doing things I don’t want to for fear of upsetting someone by saying no. Not because I’m a fledging Mother Teresa!
So the ability to go out there destroy someone else on the sports field because they received an award I thought I was due would be like a vegan eating bacon!
Like a vegan, who isn’t going to eat bacon, to get a job they desire. I’m not going to change.
So you see I’m no stranger to self reflection. It’s all well and good knowing who we are and why we are the way we are. When making changes conflicts a deep rooted behaviour it sort of seems pointless.
So while you may be spending this time self reflecting I’ll be on Twitter having the craic and avoiding doing the laundry.